Not Yet Fully Set

My friend Seth Clifford has written an articulate piece on how we become defined over time as humans.

We all have our own issues that we are facing that cause massive amounts of stress. Not all of us share them publicly. Some of us choose to eschew the issues instead of facing them.[1] Anticipating issues, enduring the stress, and returning to a state of stability make us who we are. The analogy Seth used in his post is perfect:

It’s like breaking a bone: it’ll set, it’ll heal, and you’ll go back to the way things were, but it won’t ever be exactly the same. … but there are small variations and flaws that weren’t there before.

The notion that we as human beings are flawed & broken is something that we as a society struggle with often. Both conventional and social media can paint pictures of the perfect life, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth: life can be rough and smooth, amazing and cruel, and/or any other set of dichotomies that come to mind. What causes you to struggle may cause others to thrive. Perseverance in the face of adversity can define you just as much as a life full of stress fractures. Once we have been broken, we work on healing; but – for better or worse – we aren’t the same.

I personally have at least some level of stress on a daily basis in my life. I constantly have people and projects to juggle, at both work and home. At times, I feel very broken, ill-equipped to handle the stress; I just want it to go away. I feel like I am a huge letdown to those around me, and feel like giving up. But I’m an adult[2], and I don’t have an option to give up. I have to remain confident and steadfast in the wake of the emotional collapse that stares me in the face. An important point:

At times like this, I try to remember that all those bones I’ve broken have made me the person I am today, and I’m (mostly) pretty satisfied with how I’ve “set”.

We must endure getting “broken bones” from time-to-time along the journey and hope that in the end, we’ll end up ok. We will heal, and that we can endure the next challenge. Perhaps now that we’ve broken a bone once, we know how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.[3] We might not be able to protect ourselves from other breaks, but we will be better equipped to handle the recognizable stresses in our lives.

I’m really thankful that Seth shared what he did; I’ve been thinking about the same thing for a bit now myself, but hadn’t yet shared how I felt. Sharing anything personal can be unnerving, but can also be immensely helpful to others; judging from the responses to his post, he’s not alone, which means neither am I. Having these conversations allows us all to grow, help ourselves, and help others.

Personally, I am slowly getting more self-aware, happier with where I’m headed and can look back at what I’ve endured with both humility and pride. I’m not yet fully set, but I can see the cast coming off soon; I look forward to when I can start down the path of rehabilitation towards the goal of healing. This is all just part of my journey in becoming more human.


  1. An important aside: you will occasionally find yourself needing some outside help. Talking about your stresses is a wonderful thing, whether it be with a close individual in your life or a professional. We aren’t in this life alone, and you shouldn’t endure it without having a support structure. There is zero shame in needing support to heal. If you feel like you cannot handle the stress, I urge you to reach out to someone you trust and get the appropriate help you need.  ↩
  2. really a big kid  ↩
  3. at least not the same way  ↩

Lesson Learned

Earlier this year, I set out with a goal in mind to have a new domain to call my own. And last weekend, I did just that, and updated my blog. I had wanted to try a few things, so I started looking around and asking others questions about how to do things.

That’s when I realized that I spent last weekend wasting my time and this wasn’t going to work the way I wanted it to. Lesson learned. Time for plan B.

The previous version of this site was on WP.com. And while it’s good for most people, I really wanted to tweak a few key things to have it fit the personality of my writing. I wanted the formatting of the site to come from my voice, as if you could hear me writing it.

In my daily conversations, I have small asides that are relevant[1] and add to the conversation. They don’t take away from the conversation when talking[2], but that is hard to convey in written form. Using footnotes is a great way of doing them, but for how I speak, they generally aren’t good for my own use.

Enter Bigfoot. No, not the mysterious creature pictured in hundreds of blurry images around the world[3], but the popular footnote format used most famously in Instapaper.

This is exactly what I wanted to use to convey how I speak. And that is simply not available on WP.com; I checked with a Happiness Engineer (seriously, this is what they are called) and he confirmed that was indeed the case. So it looked like I was giving up on that convention on my site.

I’ve been told a number of times that if I’m going to write, I need to write for myself and write in my own voice. I need to have that as part of of my style with my blog. Sure, I could get by with the footnotes, or changing my writing style. But that wouldn’t be me. That wouldn’t be my voice. That wouldn’t make me happy.

So that’s when it hit me: I wasted my time last weekend setting this up all wrong. Is a WP.com site easier to manage? Yes. But does it do/look/feel like what I want? No.

So after some research — and admittedly not enough of it — I decided to try to a self-hosted install of WordPress. The install was smooth,and installing the necessary plugins was a breeze. I chose a new theme and published.

I decided to stick to this for a bit until I started reading up on installing the footnotes I want. Reading code is like reading another language for me.[4] I couldn’t find a helpful post to save my life: everything was verbose in the language of CSS, PHP, JS, jQuery, etc. But thanks to this plugin, it was a breeze.[5]

And so now that the site has been revamped again, I’ve learned my lesson. Hopefully now I can settle into the rhythm of writing.

The upkeep of the site will be different, and there’s sure to be a learning curve[6], but at the end of the day, this is what is good for me. And while you don’t have to live with me on a daily basis, it’s going to be better for all of us going forward.[7] This writing style is better suited to sharing my voice, and makes me feel just a bit more human.


  1. Debatable  ↩
  2. Oh look, a bird!!!  ↩
  3. Seriously, why the hell are they always blurry?  ↩
  4. And I suck at English enough.  ↩
  5. Do you know how long it took me to find this? So out of my league here…  ↩
  6. I still have to figure out removing the footnotes from the bottom of the page. If you know how, get in touch. (Update: I figured it out.)  ↩
  7. Kudos to my family and friends for putting up with my shit. I don’t know how they do it, because I can’t stand it.  ↩

Fresh Coat of Paint

For a long time, I have wanted a site to call mine. Sure, I’ve had my blog a little while. But I really wanted to have my own domain.

This past week, I had an epiphany: it was something that made me feel more alive than I have in a long time. The notes that I took for my idea was a bit crazy, very ambitious, but yet calming and attainable.[1]

I ended up buying two: one with future intentions, and one that I wanted to use here. So, I went to the place that everyone (and the mother of any podcaster out there) will tell you to use: Hover. And every single top-level domain (TLD) for “nahumck” was available. This should shock exactly no one.

Now that I had nahumck.me[2], I needed to link it to my site. I’ve had a WP.com site for a long time, but it was their web address. I wanted it to be fully mine (did you notice the address bar at the top?). Again, I ultimately wanted simple, so I kept my site at WordPress after some back and forth with other options. And aside from the theme I chose that spruced up the joint, the rest should be transparent to you.[3]

Now that the site is set up and done, I can finish a few more workflows, and then get to what I’ve always intended this to be – a place for me to share my thoughts. I can get to writing to help me. And if I get lucky, perhaps I will help someone else along the way.

Welcome to the new site!


I wanted to say a very special thanks to Seth Clifford. He has helped with a lot of guidance this week. I cannot say enough how much I appreciate his help and his friendship.💙


  1. More on this at a later date.  ↩
  2. Yes, Rob — I know that nahumck.plumbing was available. And although I considered it, the .me is better. So sorry.  ↩
  3. If I’m being honest, it’s probably transparent to me also. I’m not a whiz at this stuff.  ↩

Father’s Day 2015

This morning, as with many weekend mornings, I was awoken by my youngest son. “Hi Daddy! Boo!” It was 6:30am, and although it is a perfectly reasonable time for me to be awake, I was hoping to get at least a little bit of extra sleep.

He noticed that I didn’t have a shirt on. “Daddy, shirt!” (I’m not sure if it was because I normally sleep with one on, or if he is making a passive-aggressive attempt at calling me fat, but I digress…) He then proceeded to go over to the dresser, and open up my t-shirt drawer. He grabbed the first shirt he could, and brought it over to me. “Here Daddy! Come on! Downstairs!”

Although he woke me up early, I couldn’t be more proud of him. He’s learning so much, and he is such a polite boy. He always says thank you, and most times says please.

I’m sure I did similar things when I was a kid with my dad (probably not as gracious, however). Perhaps it was even worse for my dad. One thing is for sure — he’s proud of his grandson in two ways: 1) for being a polite, sweet, smart boy and 2) for waking his daddy up because it’s payback for the times that I did it to him!

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there, and most of all to the wonderful example that I have in my life. Love you, Dad!