Earlier today, I was reminded of a post that I remembered being great, but at the time was aspirational to me. And it shouldn't surprise you that it came from Seth. With this post brought back into the forefront of my mind, it got me thinking about what I'm doing, and how I'm ultimately failing at a lot of things right now.

There are some things that I really need to spend some time on: my physical self, my mental self, my family, my home, my job, my podcast. And the list could go on. But you get the point.

One of the things that I love to do but don't really have the time to do is read. And with the complexity of my life not letting up, I need to get a better handle on life. Part of doing so is removing some of the distraction that I have, and that starts on my personal device.
Continue reading “Break”

The Distraction of Inadequacy

One of the biggest questions that I have had regarding my use of 2Do as my task management system of choice is how, with a plethora of other solutions, I arrived at this one. When I started, my old system was not handling what I needed to get done. I looked at what other people were doing, what they were accomplishing, and wanted to know what solution they found to get their tasks done.

Continue reading “The Distraction of Inadequacy”

Human Reach

Image Credit: NASA/APL/SwRI

This week, we have hit the mark on the nine-year journey to research and photograph the last main celestial body in our solar system, Pluto.[1] We have discovered particles that have only existed in theory. We are extending our human reach from the infinitesimal to the extent of our multiverse as a species, even if we don’t know yet where we are heading or for what we are searching. We truly live in wonderful times.

And yet, with all of our advancements, we on Earth often times are still horrible as a species; we are flawed beings that are capable of doing many great, wonderful, terrible things. Over the course of the last six years alone, there have been countless stories around the world of brutal violence, hate crimes, and heinous acts. Racial divides, human inequality, religious ideals, and the need to survive push people to their worst. And although we have made some advancements in recent months to right those wrongs, we still have a long way to go.

Being our best and worst was really well encapsulated within Interstellar, which I happened to watch this week. The basic premise of the movie: the planet is dying, we are dying due to lack of food and climate changes, and there is a fight for our survival. In an effort to save the human race, a team is sent on a long journey to go find another home; the initial team was selected to represent us on this journey.[2] Not much is heard from the team, and a second team is sent in the same direction. In one of the many of the many climactic scenes of the movie, there is a conflict where one astronaut attacks another in an effort to save himself. Even in the vastness of space with the fate of the human race on the line, we were shown to be horrible to each other; we would choose ourselves and our own ideals rather than working together to survive.

Humans been this way for a long time. We’ve had thousands of years of hate, bigotry, and inequality. We kill in the name of our deities or ideals. We persecute those that are not the same as us with hatred and without due process. We hold back people from having basic human rights and needs because we fail to empathize with them. We make strides to overcome the wrongs in our past, but then in mere moments it can be taken away with cowardly acts of a select few. People dissent or raise up symbols of injustice against ideals that differ from our own because of what they personally think is right, and not what is right for the sake of all humanity. Being different makes us human: but living despite those differences makes us humane.

In Interstellar, there was discussion of a “more evolved being” that lived in the fifth dimension that is trying to help us. It was later revealed that the beings were our decedents reaching backward to help us find the right path.[3] We are all looking for something more than ourselves, whether that be a higher power or something greater than ourselves, even if we don’t know it; it is part of our human nature. Often times we just want to communicate with others and feel like we belong in this world. We seek out others to journey with us, to help us along our way, to stand with us as one people.

Whilst we are looking ever towards the heavens for the answers of our universe, my mind can’t help but wonder and hope that maybe some day we can look back at our past atrocities here on Earth, evolve, and help each other become better humans.

  1. It will always be a planet to me.  ↩
  2. There is a common theme in the space exploration genre that sends the “best of us” as representation.  ↩
  3. I know future me would love to go back and smack past or current me for some of the mistakes I’ve made.  ↩

One Year Later

A year ago today, my life changed forever. I had gone through a few years of a personal hell, but I didn’t realize it. There were a lot of events that took place to get me to this point, and something that I will write about (and post <a href=”>here) later.
I sat at the hospital, prepped for my right adrenalectomy, uncertain of what the outcome would be. My family and doctors told me that my life would be different; not just different, but noticeably different. I can honestly say that I didn’t think any of them were right. I was hopeful that they were, but I really didn’t believe it at all. I had a lot of time to allow my mind play out what would happen (as I like to do); all I was worried about was waking up after the surgery and my heart stopping for the 5th time. I had put my family & friends through enough, and I didn’t need to add stress to them with something bad happening. I vaguely remember things after, up until I was in my room for a while.

The next day, I was feeling better. “Drugs do amazing things,” I thought to myself. Other than some gas from the laparoscopic procedure, I was feeling fine. I was able to get up & not have a code called on me. Progress.

The rest of my stay (on my birthday) was spent with family and the wonderful nursing staff who took the time to walk with me. All said and done, I was in on Thursday afternoon and was going home Saturday morning. Looks like things were ok for now, though I was still scared of what could happen again.

It was Saturday afternoon that I really noticed: I was feeling great, amazing in fact. It wasn’t a small change, it was very noticeable. I wasn’t feeling sluggish. I wasn’t feeling depressed. I wasn’t stuck in this fog of despair and self-pity. I was seeing life more clearly and it was beautiful.

Life has been improving ever since. I’m down to the smallest dose of one blood pressure med; I was on 5 meds at the highest dosages before. My blood pressure is perfect now; it was 170+/110+ before. My potassium levels were back to normal. Small things that would keep me angry and pissed at everyone & everything either didn’t bother me or were short-lived. Everything was getting back to a “normal” state, though I had no idea that this was life as it should be lived.

A week after the surgery, my wife & I found out that we were going to have a baby. I was able to care for her through the rough 9 months (what a courageous woman she is — I truly admire her for it). I am able to care for my family now and care about them in ways that weren’t possible before. I am present. I am happy. And by removing part of me, I am becoming whole.

I am so thankful that I have the best wife, parents, family, friends, and doctors I could ever hope or ask God to graciously give to me. They put up with all of my shit, all of the stress, and help me figure out what was wrong and fixed it.

This past year has been this amazing start of a transformation in my personal life, and I look forward to what my future holds…